Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
