His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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