he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
