I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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