Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
