dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
