Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
