I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
