Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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