Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize