Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
