If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
