I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
