Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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