I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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