I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
