Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
