Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I intend to get homeless drunk
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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