wakey wakey hands off snakey
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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