i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
