four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
