he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
