party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
