Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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