Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
