party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
