So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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