Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
