Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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