I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She announced her abortion via fbk
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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