I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
