Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
