Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
