take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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