is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize