You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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