your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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