Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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