I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
