youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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