apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
