And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
