Are we in a gay sports bar?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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