one two three fourrrrnication!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
