Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Buhtt sex?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
