Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
