My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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