well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
