I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
