He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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