Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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