He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
