its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
