I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
