i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
