Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i out mim tonsoeep
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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