If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
