hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
