Who did Billy Mays play for?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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