Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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