Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
