You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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