I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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