Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
