Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
